LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
DEAR PIG
YOU ARE SO SOPHISTICATED WITH YOUR YSL SHEETS. I WISH YOU WOULD SLEEP SOMEWHERE ELSE LIKE ANYWHERE BUT NOT NEXT TO ME
LOVE ALWAYS
AUNT MONES
LOVE ALWAYS
AUNT MONES
DEAR SLAYMIE
IF I SEE U ANYWHERE NEAR MY SPOTS YES I WILL STICK MY TOUNGE RIGHT OUT AT YOU
KEEP IT MOVING
LOVE RAMONA
KEEP IT MOVING
LOVE RAMONA
DEAR EDDIE AND QUEEN
THAT NIGHT YOU GOT THAT 80S LIMMO TO PICK YOU UP.. WELL I WAS THINKING YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO KEEP GOING
BYE
LOVE ALWAYS RAMONA
BYE
LOVE ALWAYS RAMONA
Friday, August 15, 2008
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DEAR MATISSE
I CAME ACROSS THIS IMAGE ON YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE AND I HAVE TO SAY I WAS INSULTED
LOVE RAMONA
LOVE RAMONA
Thursday, August 14, 2008
DEAR ANDY
DOING THE HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIX SONG 2 TIMES IN A ROW IS A BIT MUCH DONT YOU AGREE
LOVE YOUR GUTS
RAMONA
LOVE YOUR GUTS
RAMONA
DEAR CORY AND JEN BABE
YA KNOW I JUST THINK MAYBE YOU AND YOUR 4 EYES SHOULD KEEP IT MOVING
LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
DEAR QUEENY PANTS
boundary |ˈbound(É™)rÄ“| noun ( pl. -ries) a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line : the eastern boundary of the wilderness | the boundary between the U.S. and Canada | [as adj. ] a boundary wall. • (often boundaries) figurative a limit of a subject or sphere of activity : a community without class or political boundaries. ORIGIN early 17th cent.: variant of dialect bounder, from bound 2 + -er 1 , perhaps on the pattern of limitary.
LOVE RAMONA
LOVE RAMONA
Monday, August 11, 2008
DEAR JIGGAMAN
YOU GOT THINGS ALL WRONG PAL
YOU ACTUALLY KILLED MY RED BULL HIGH
THANKS
LOVE ALWAYS TILL THE END
RAMONA
YOU ACTUALLY KILLED MY RED BULL HIGH
THANKS
LOVE ALWAYS TILL THE END
RAMONA
DEAR SUE
YOU SUCK
LOVE RAMONA
Surprise Party
Grandpa....Christopher Walken
Sue....Kristen Wiig
Guest 1....Amy Poehler
Guest 2....Bill Hader
Guest 3....Will Forte
Annie....Casey Wilson
[Opens with a nice house, cut to the living room. A man talks to his
friends, who sit on sofa. One of them is Sue. She is dressed with a
large multicolor sweater.]
Grandpa: Thank you for coming on short notice. As you know, my
granddaughter is staying with us over the spring break and tomorrow
is her birthday. So, I'm going to throw her a surprise party.
Sue: Oh, my Go-o-o-od!
Guest 1: What a great idea.
Sue: Oh, my Go-o-o-od!
Guest 2: She'll be surprised.
Sue: Oh, my Go-o-o-o-d!
Guest 1: Sue, what's wrong?
Grandpa: Sue likes surprise parties.
Sue: I really love surprise parties, I'm freakin' excited!
Grandpa: I want to ask. Does anyone want to help?
Sue: Oh, yes![Raises her hand high]
Grandpa: Thank you. She's going to be so happy.
[Sue clenches her fists. Excited as hell]
Guest 1: Sue?
Sue: Yes, I'm sorry, I didn't know this was gonna be happening today!
I'm ecstatic to be a part of this!
Guest 2: It's truly nice that you're doing this for her.
Grandpa: I'd do anything for her. She's my peach. What do you think?
Should I get balloons?
Sue: YES!!!
Guest 3: You know, I know of a party store I could pick some up on
the way over tomorrow--
Sue:[overexcited] She's gonna walk in here and think that nobody's
here! I don't know what's she gonna do when she sees the balloons!
And we're hidden! And she's surprised!
Guest 1: That's how a surprise party works.
Sue: Oh, I know how they work!
Grandpa: That's the idea. I thought I'd take her to the park. Tell
her we're coming here for pizza. Now, you should all park far away so
she doesn't see the cars and get suspicious. Sue, what are writing?
[Sue writes furiously on a notepad]
Sue: All of it! Everything that you're saying! Everything that's
happening!
[Guest 2 takes the notepad from Sue and shows it.]
Guest 2: It's scribbles. It's nothing. You act like its the first
time you've ever thrown a surprise party.
Grandpa: Leave her alone. Sue, I love that you're excited about this.
I am too. I just show it differently.
Guest 1: Oh, my friend owns a bakery. I can swing by tonight and pick
up a cake.
[Sue rocks back and forth, out of breath]
Sue: I'm sorry. I feel like I'm gonna pass out. Could someone get me
something to eat? Some solid food. I'm so freakin'--
[Guest 2 gives her a bag of Ruffles chips]
Guest 2: Excited, excited...yes, we know.
Guest 3: I can't wait to see her face tomorrow.
Sue: Oh, my Go-o-o-o-o-od! I forgot about her face!! That's the best
part!!
Grandpa: We still have a lot to cover. So let's talk about--
Sue: Oh, boy. My hands are paralyzed![Can't open the bag of chips,
Guest 2 opens the bag for her]
Grandpa: I thought we could do---I can do some juggling from back
when I was an army clown. I still have the nose someplace.
Sue: CLOWN![crams chips in her mouth]
Guest 1: Sue, get a hold of yourself!
Sue: I'm sorry, but I didn't know this was happening!
Guest 2: Why don't you go outside and get some air?
Sue: I'm sorry, you know what would make me calm down? A practice
surprise. We can all figure out where we're gonna hide.
Grandpa: Good idea. I don't want to screw this up. So, everybody hide
somewhere.
[The guests get up and hide behind the couch]
Grandpa: Ok, I bring her in. I say "Ok, Annie. We're home." And then
you say---
All except Sue: Surprise!
Sue: SURPRIIIIIISE!!!!!!![Hands up high] gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!!!![whisper
growl] happy birthday![covers her face, uncovers, unable to contain
the excitement]
Guest 3: What is wrong with you?
[Annie walks in]
Annie: Hey, grandpa. What's going on?
Grandpa: Everything's fine, darling.
Guest 1: Yeah, we're just hanging out.
Guest 2: Uh-huh.
Guest 3: Just talking.
[Sue has her collar over her mouth, bites it. Eyes open wide, ready
to explode]
Annie: Hi, Sue.
Sue: I can't tell you about something!
Guest 1: Oh, shut it, Sue!
Sue: There's nothing. There's something that I'm very excited that I
can't ---is there a party?!, WHAT?! NO! Whose birthday?! What?!
Tomorrow?! Nothing! What's happening?! What time is it?! Park?!
Pizza?! Hey, I'm going to a party tomorrow! Oh, God! Oh, God! Here it
comes, here it comes! Oh, God! Oh, God!
Grandpa: Sue, don't! Please!
[Sue knocks herself out by smashing a light bulb on her head, she
falls down.]
Annie: Grandpa, grandpa. What's going on?
Grandpa: Well, to be honest, we're talking about having a party for
you on your birthday.
Annie: Awww, grandpa. That's really sweet but I don't need a party.
But what I would like is for you to get me a Coach bag at the mall.
Guest 3: We could all pitch in on that.
[Sue sprints up on her feet]
Sue: OH, THE MALL!!
[Sue jumps out of a glass window]
Grandpa: Anything. Anything for you, cupcake. We'll get ice cream---
[Sue jumps back in the living room through the busted window]
Sue: ICE CREAM!! THE MALL!!
[Sue jumps back out the window]
[fade]
[Cheers and applause]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel
SNL Transcripts
VERY SPECIAL DAY
CUTEATTACK GOT A SUBMISSION TODAY FROM RAMONAS GYM......
Your bod doesn't look hot or anything. Your membership is officially revoked!
Sincerely,
NY Health & Racket
Your bod doesn't look hot or anything. Your membership is officially revoked!
Sincerely,
NY Health & Racket
DEAR PEOPLE WHO STEAL.
GET YOUR OWN BIKE
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE MINE!!!!!! IF I CATCH YOU ON MY BIKE ITS GOING TO GET ROUGH
(THIS IS SERIOUS)
PISS OFF
RAMONA
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE MINE!!!!!! IF I CATCH YOU ON MY BIKE ITS GOING TO GET ROUGH
(THIS IS SERIOUS)
PISS OFF
RAMONA
DEAR LOUIS VUITTON AND COMME DE GARSON
A COLLABORATION REALLY.. REALLY UNINSPIRING AND DULL
THANKS FOR NOTHING
LOVE ALWAYS RAMONA
THANKS FOR NOTHING
LOVE ALWAYS RAMONA
DEAR JENS MIGHT GET A NEW PHONE
YOU SHOULD AND DONT TAKE MY NUMBER WITH YOUR NEW PHONE
LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
DEAR SLAYMIE
IM JUST SAYING THEY ARE CALLED MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISONS FOR A REASON STAY THERE AND MAKE SURE TO KEEP PIG SMALLS IN THE CLANK AS WELL.
HUGS AND KISSES RAMONA
HUGS AND KISSES RAMONA
DEAR JORTS CLUB
BEING IN A CLUB FOR JEAN SHORTS IS FOOLISH.WEARING SHORT SHORTS AS SOME SORT OF GANG TYPE STEEZ IS EVEN MORE IGNORANT. NEWS FLASH NO ONE WANTS TO JOIN YOUR MEDICORE CLUB!
LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
LOVE ALWAYS
RAMONA
Sunday, August 3, 2008
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